I believe that adversity breeds a very special, unique, and dynamic type of person. Carbon, under very high temperatures and pressure, forms into diamonds. Only under such stressful situations does a rather inconspicuous mineral become something rare and beautiful. Living with Migraine is like being carbon. On the outside I seem rather normal and uninteresting. Nothing particularly stands out. However, on the inside a rather complex and intricate process is occurring creating something special and very strong. I must admit that I have seen myself grow into a much stronger, wiser, and assured person through various moments of adversity in my life. Admittedly, I cannot see myself coming as far as I have had it not been for those very stressful and traumatic times.
The stress of living with constant pain and developing several other chronic illnesses has caused a significant amount of pressure to build. In this case, one can either collapse underneath that pressure or become more resilient despite it. In this life, I am always being tested. Life has always been more difficult for me since being diagnosed as a child with Migraine. I have had the unfortunate pleasure of my disease becoming treatment resistant and chronic. As if that isn't enough for one person to bear, along the way I developed fibromyalgia, carpal tunnel syndrome, restless leg syndrome, arthritis in my feet, spinal stenosis, and degenerative facet joint disease. All of that on top of battling chronic major depressive disorder and anxiety is quite a load to pick up and carry around day after day.
Last summer after a routine mammogram, I had to go back in to have a more detailed mammogram and ultrasound of my breasts. Cysts were found in both but they wanted to monitor the larger one in my left breast, which I can prominently feel. So every six months I have to get a mammogram and ultrasound to check on it's size. My mother is a two time breast cancer survivor and prior to the cancer she had fibrocystic breasts. Thankfully, she doesn't carry the BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene but I still get nervous when I go to each follow up. With my track record in the health department, it won't be such a shock if I wound up being diagnosed with breast cancer. At my last follow up last month, another cyst was found in my left breast which is almost as big as the first one. That explains the increased breast and nipple pain. The outcome can very well be nothing more than these cysts. Trying not to immediately think of the worst is hard and I try to be optimistic. I don't know how I could take a cancer diagnosis. I go back in six months for an ultrasound, so the anticipation continues.
Adversity seems to be my travel companion in life. Everywhere I go, there it is just like my shadow. For some of my issues, out of sight out of mind works some of the time. If it is not in my periphery than I am not concerned about it or actively thinking about it. What it all boils down to is the inherent need to keep maneuvering through it. Whatever comes along, I gather it up, analyze it, and then categorize it. If it is something out of my control it goes into the prayer compartment where I leave it in God's hands. If I can change what is going on, it goes into the fix it compartment where I try to do what I can to make it better. And if it happens to be one of those uncontrollable things like Migraine or benign breast cysts, it goes into the compressor where it gets packed into a tight, hard and impenetrable cube of "let's get through this".
Everything I have experienced has prepared me for this moment in my life. Courage, strength, and perseverance are a result of trials, tribulations, heartache, disappointments and sorrow. Making it out of those dark and trying times creates a strength and resilience that you wear like a coat of armor. Never do you feel invincible, but you feel prepared to deal with whatever comes because you already know what it is you made it out of. Each of my trials did not kill me, although I had a few close calls. I continue to have moments of weakness and pessimism, but for the most part I find comfort in knowing that they will continue to shape me into a much stronger willed individual. I say what's on my mind more and stand more firmly and comfortably in my truth. At the end of the day, I'm here. I survived and it has most certainly been for the better.
Track Your Migraines!
Everyone who suffers from headache disorders should keep a headache journal. With just about everybody having a smartphone these days, keeping track of headaches and migraine has gotten easier. The awesome folks at Migraine Buddy have given me a promo code for their Migraine Buddy App (a $2.99 value) to give to one lucky iOS user! What's Migraine Buddy you ask? It is a very user-friendly and beautifully designed Migraine and Headache Tracker that you install on your phone. You can record the onset of each Migraine, select which triggers set it off, log your medications, and even customize your entries to include specific treatments you use! I personally love having Migraine Buddy as a part of my Migraine and Headache Toolkit. I use it every day and it has proven to be a valuable tool in tracking and logging my attacks, triggers and symptoms all in one easy, super to use and convenient place. My favorite feature is seeing what your top triggers and symptoms are as well as what the average pain intensity is. You can also export all of your entries into a spreadsheet that you can take to your neurologist or headache specialist. You will be amazed at how much you can learn from this App about your particular Migraine or Headache Disorder. Enter today for your chance to win!
Giveaway begins 6/17/2015 at 12:00 a.m. and ends 6/30/2015 at 12:00 a.m. Contest will continue throughout the month of June in recognition of Migraine and Headache Awareness Month, an AHMA sponsored event. Winners will be chosen through Rafflecopter.
No comments :
Post a Comment
Thank you for reading! Comments are welcomed and encouraged. If you have any questions, you can submit them on the Contact Me page.
Stay Well!