Don't Give Up

It's all about not giving up.  Every day a small part of me wants to throw in the towel.  I get so tired so often.  I doubt that anyone truly realizes how much stress Migraine disease puts my body under.  I get so exhausted that my mind literally shuts down and thinking becomes difficult.  There have been so many days where all I can do is cry because I've been through so much and have achieved such little progress.  When I have a severe migraine attack and I don't have any medicine that will properly take the pain away, I feel downright defeated.  All I want to do is give up and give in because I feel like there is no more fight left in me.  But I manage to push through and make it to another day.  Lately, I have been using my new approach to treatment as my motivator.  I'm not relying solely on the advice of my neurologist who could only push prescription after prescription until there were none left to try.  I decided to take matters into my own hands and try alternative treatments.  I fought to get a referral to see an acupuncturist which I got and I regularly get cranial sacral massages.  Both help ease the pain that I experience.  I'm on an anti-inflammation diet where I do not eat wheat, gluten, soy, dairy or cooked eggs.  I've noticed a change in how I feel physically.  I'm forced to eat more organic, natural and pure foods and my body has responded well to it.  I've even started to lose weight which is a good side effect.  At one point I was on Lyrica as a daily preventative and it caused me to gain 30 pounds.  It's been a struggle to lose it especially being bed ridden so often and unable to exert too much energy without getting a migraine in the process.  Now I feel like I can actually start an exercise regime.  I've been wanting to get back to doing my New York City Ballet Workout.  Ballet is the only form of exercise that I enjoy doing.  It doesn't feel like exercise to me.  I danced for 13 years and I miss it. By focusing on new things I'm not giving up.  Don't get me wrong, I still feel like doing so at least once a week but I have to remind myself that giving up means I don't get a better life and I deserve a better life.  So I'll continue to push on, even on the days that feel like they're from hell.  God doesn't put me through things that I can't handle and if I remember that then I'm okay.