Oh the pain!

Hello again!  I'm in the middle of a very annoying migraine attack.  I am very exhausted.  Sleep has been sporadic and broken.  My energy level is pretty low.  And I'm in pain yet again for another day.  This super sucks.  But I was given some pretty good news earlier in the day.  I received a phone call from Karen, the lady in charge of my case, and she had the name of a neurosurgeon whose office is about an hour from me.  She wanted to know if I would be able to make the trip to see him and I said yes without hesitation.  Now she needs to inform the committee that I said yes and hopefully I'll have an appointment to see him very soon.

You would probably assume that this news would have me over the moon.  Well, for one it's not official yet and two, I'm in pain and I don't want to be nor should I be and that makes it bittersweet.  I've never had this - a real and true treatment. I can't ever forget how it felt feeling super hopeful about a new drug or new approach for it not to work in the end.  For over 25 years I have experienced so many let downs.  It's hard on a person's psyche to have your expectations shot down lower than the bottom of your feet.  It's like having the wind knocked out of you time after time.  But this is real and in my reach.  It feels like it's less than a foot away but those last few inches are long and slow to traverse.

This migraine hurts just like how all the others have.  However, this one seems to have a different pain.  Probably because this time I know I shouldn't have to be and that is a hard concept to be comfortable with.  So, until I hear back from Karen I'll endure another night with this and try to make myself as comfortable as I possibly can.  Hubby will be home tonight and he always makes me feel more relaxed so tonight might not be so bad.