Burnout - HAWMC Day 20

Today's prompt is to write about burnout.  What does it feel like? What are your burnout triggers?

Burnout for me is complete mental, physical and emotional exhaustion.  It feels like a hundred different things at once.  Burnout is the bowling ball knocking all of my pins downs.  There are different causes as to why I feel burned out.  For example, a long day involving driving, going grocery shopping, appointments, etc. leads to physical burnout.  And what does that feel like?

• Burning pain in my shoulders, neck, back and arms;
• Stabbing and throbbing pain in my calves, ankles, feet and toes;
• Widespread pain that feels like I'm a human punching bag;
• Muscle spasms in various parts of my body.

Excessive stress and increased anxiety are the main triggers to a mental burnout, which includes:

• Persistent worrying;
• Increased feelings of hopelessness/not being able to control what's happening;
• Inability to find the good in things;
• Loss in apetite;
• Sleep changes (more or less than usual);
• Being withdrawn.

Emotional exhaustion and burnout is similar to what I go through during a mental burnout.  I tend to be reactionary instead of wanting to withdraw.  Experiencing frequent episodes of pain along with the stress of being limited in the things I can do are often triggers to an emotional burnout.  I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster,  exhibiting these behaviors:

• Excessive crying;
• Angry outbursts;
• Becoming easily frustrated;
• Irritable.

Going through these moments are draining and I experience some form of them every day. Life is not easy for me as I have more challenges to overcome just to have a decent day.  Therefore, on some level, I'm feeling burned out.  Whether big or small, it's a part of coping with chronic illness that will always be there.  On many occasions it has seemed that my sanity has been lost.  Part of me thinks it's still out there somewhere!  Yet still, I push forward.  Sanity may wander to and fro but my fight is always with me.