Faith and Hope Despite Migraines

How Do You Focus on Faith In The Midst of Chronic Illness?

Living with chronic illness feels like unending suffering.  That's what I feel I've been doing for the past 25 years and especially over the past few weeks.  Sleep has been a stranger to me and pain has been my companion.  So much so that I've fallen into a despair of sorts many, many times.  Why must I suffer so?  These things combined have ravished my emotional spirit and has challenged it's strength to withstand the barrage of hits against it.  I began to question the reason for the path God has chosen for me.  Does He really believe I was made to endure this lifestyle?  Because in this moment, I feel like I'm failing.  In my heart I know that the Lord has me and has no intentions of ever leading me astray.  Yet, when in the throes of pain and insomnia, thinking becomes clouded and unsure and the flesh begins to deceive us. 

We all go through phases in our lives when we doubt ourselves and sometimes the Lord.  When life finds us going through tumultuous times it can bring us to the point of asking Him, "Why me?  Why this?  Why now?".   As mortals we can waiver in our faith and I am no stranger to it nor am I afraid to say that I sometimes do.  But whatis it that brings me back to the truth of my Savior?  My revelation came to me while watching the funeral service for the late Whitney Houston.  Her home-going was so uplifting and celebrated her love of the Lord.  Yes, she was flawed as are all of us but her faith brought her back to her center.  She had some personal struggles and one of them might have bested her but her faith never waivered.  That realization became so obvious to me.  Why am I allowing my faith to waiver in this time of weakness?  The Lord would never give me anything that I can't handle.  He has entrusted me with this precious life and I must acknowledge His unwaivering faith in me.


So, to answer the question, "How do you build and maintain hope when your life is dominated by migraine disease or another headache disorder?", my longstanding faith has in many ways held the hope I had in having a fulfilling life despite my chronic pain.  As I look back, even as a young girl, I had always found some form of relief in turning to God.  I eventually learned to give it all to Him.  So many moments in my life have been extremely trying and overwhelming.  I constantly asked the questions, "Why me? Why do I have to deal with all of this?".  And when I prayed and let go of the responsibility to fix all that was wrong with my life, I have always ended up with a hugh sense of relief and a renewed hope.  I believe that God has chosen this path for me because He knew that I had the strength to handle it and that I would learn to use my disease as a platform rather than a crutch.  I find hope in knowing that there is something bigger out there that I am ultimately responsible for.  So, this burden I will try to no longer carry.  Yes, it's sometimes impossible to do when in the midst of pain and depression, but I know that there's something greater at the end of all this suffering.

Pain doesn't last always and even if my earthly life involves pain for the remainder of it, my eternal life most definitely will be without any pain, fear, sorrow or weakness.  This I can always find relief in and maybe Whitney did so also.  His plan for me isn't suffering but to learn what's true and constant depsite of it.  That happens to be Him and my faith.


"And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you." (1 Peter 5:10)